ONE
When guys see me its love at first sight, I believe its lust not love, dude’s fall for my cute face, my voluptuous body that you can say with my 34D-26-42, 5’6, 145 lbs. A red bone, long black hair, bangs like Nicki Minaj. I know what you saying, “love should be effortless for me to discover except it’s harder then you think when boy’s my age are not mature enough and older men don’t take me seriously plus they all want the same thing from me. Yeah sex, I’m not a virgin at the age of seventeen. I then seen done it all with older men, guy’s my age, threesome’s with another girl and a guy. There’s nothing wrong with being sexual or having sexual experience. I know what you thinking where my parent’s at are with me doing all of this. I live in the suburbs in O Fallon, IL in a two parent home. My parents both love me and respect me, they are strict about school. As a junior I have a 4.0 by barely studying and always having some geeky ass boy doing my homework. I let him rub a boob or grab some ass from time to time. I accomplish what I do for this reason it’s not just to get what I want although just to find love. Yeah true love, where you can feel the person’s heart beat same as yours. Love where you miss that person with instance they head to the store for just a second. Love is just great for a person’s soul. Lust is for the eyes and my body or my body shaking every time he touches me. I do have a dream and a goal in life. I don’t want you think I’m a big ass slut other than I want to be a sex therapist. Every since I lost my virginity at the age of fourteen, I can’t help but read, think, write, and talk about sex.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ I remembered like it was yesterday when I lost my virginity. Me and my crew Diamond Diva’s we all had our parents thinking we was spending the night at my girl house Ashley. Still same click me, Ashley, Lavon, and Dominique. We had this planned for like two weeks now. “Hey Dominique you got our fake Id’s ready for tonight, I said”
Dominique rolled her eyes and reached into her pockets to grab the Id’s, “Girl you know I’m prepared for tonight.”
“Hey how we are going to get to Club Casino tonight,” I said to the girls.
“My mom’s is allowing me to drive her burgundy Mercedes SUV”, Ashley said.
“Can we all just hurry up and get dress so we can take some pictures before we leave I got to see Twista perform tonight”, Lavon said.
“Hold your horses you know we got to be late to make an entrance, “I said. After we all got dressed we started posing and taking pictures and before we left posted the pictures all on Myspace. We all headed out bumping Gena’s hot mix tape “Fuck You Pay Me.” When we pulled up outside of Club Casino it was a line outside that wrapped around the building. We all were in high spirits that Ashley who is sixteen at this time, she was dating the bouncer who was running the door. We walked right in the front door like we were superstars. As soon as we walked in all eyes was on us. I wanted to walk around and check out the club however Diamond Diva’s wanted to hit the floor and I was out voted three to one. It didn’t matter they started playing some Sean Paul”Give me The Light.” We started moving our hips and shaking our asses. As we was dancing and dudes was either flocking towards us to dance with us or watching from a distance. Even though we were shaking our ass for an hour, I decided to head towards the bathrooms with my girl Ashley. The rule is never leaving each other that are why it’s four of us.
As Ashley and I were walking out the bathroom, this 5’10, smooth dark skin dude grabbed me by my hand and looked me straight in the eyes. He smiled pulled me close to his solid astound body. He whispered, “You are the sexiest chick in the club and I want you.” He had a beautiful smile along with he was just hard to resist. My breast was touching his stomach, both of his hands firmly on my hips. His hands were just so strong which made me extremely horny. Our private parts were, grinding on each other without even dancing. We chatted and hit the dance floor for the rest of the night. I was really feeling him and told me in my ear, “I want you bad.”
“How bad do you want me, I said?” He licked his lips as well as started tonguing me down on the dance floor and now his hands on my ass. I pulled back and said, “Where can we go to get real exclusive.”
“I can take you to the Motel 8 in Caseyville furthermore we can our thoughtful moment there and you can bring your friends with you if you want.” I walked over to my girls to let them know where I was going with this dude and said, “I will see you in the morning Ashley when you come and get me.” We left in his 2003 Impala with the smoked tinted windows, the red candy painted and he was sitting on some 20 inch rims. As soon as we got to the Motel 8 room on the third floor we couldn’t stop kissing each other. When the door opened, we started stripping each other clothes off. We stood there for a moment butt naked, he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I could see his dick stiff real quick, while my pussy got soaking wet.
“Spread your leg’s wide open baby, he said.” I spread and lifted my leg’s wide open and he jumped into my pussy face first. He took his mouth and tongue eating my pussy lips none stop. When he finally came up for air; I was to busy trying to get my first orgasm. He turned me over on my stomach and lifted my ass in the up and slides his dick in me slowly. He started pounding me back and forth. He was going slowly until he speed up the pace, grabbing my ass just thrusting me back and forth. I had to grab the pillow to scream as I screamed loud for my first climax felt well as hell. He pulled out slowly and smiled at me and lay next to me saying, “I know you’re a virgin.” He started sucking on my breast until we both fell asleep. I called Ashley that morning and she came to scoop me up.
Just thinking about the past of my first time made me kind of horny. Sometimes I think am I a sex fiend, all I want to be is love and those time you making love or sex with someone they are giving their full attention. They is stroking you, making eye contact, telling you how much they enjoying you, kissing you and at the end if you’re so good they cuddle with you. That’s what I want love but guy’s don’t share feelings they are emotionless to us women but we share ourselves to them and they throw them out the window for what one night stands. Some other women, who they care and show their feelings for but come back or they can’t choose, I chose the day my heart was broken by my father and my mother didn’t leave him. I caught him in their bedroom smashing another women a coworker who he has introduce to me time and time again. I was twelve years old when I walked in on them both just stood there in silence as my mouth was apparently dropped to the floor. He try to hop up quickly and make it seem like nothing didn’t happen and I was just imagining but I just busted out crying. Now that memory drives me crazy because my father tried to bribe me and I still told in about a month. Since then I believe I wasn’t daddy’s little girl anymore and he began to be harder on me. That’s why I need love and full attention because right now I need some.
As I lay in my bed with all these full of memories that keep ringing in my head, I decided to pick one of my books that I love to read my favorite poem in Confession of a Sex Addict. My new favorite author and poet, Truth he is very inspirational and controversial with so much talent.
Sex Is My Drug
Her set of pretty lips is always dripping wet
When I go inside of her, it affects my brain’s pleasure and interferes
With the ability to perceive her tight pain
Or the needle that is injected into my vein, now that’s my heroin
And I’m still wondering her name
She keep supplying me like a drug dealer
When she kiss me with those juicy, soft lips
That’s Mary Jane keeping on a high
That let time just past by
As my heart beats at a faster rate
It increases my temperature as she goes down




